Verse 1:
Remember when I used to laugh and it wasn't just a choke,
Remember when I was the one that would make up the jokes.
Remember when I used to smile and it wasn't just a mask,
and you'd never have to ask if I was happy or not.
Pre verse:
Remember when I thought I could help you,
Remember when I wasn't weighing you down.
I swear that I have never lied to you,
I just may of left some things out.
Chorus:
Why am I still standing my ground,
When everything I care about comes tumbling down.
Why do I still love so much,
But whenever I ask once I get shot down,
I try to think back,
to when I was still whole.
But I just don't see myself as me anymore.
I ask you to remember, I don't know if you still do.
But I just can't forget you.
Verse 2:
Have you ever had a life that was lost to the past,
Did you ever really think that it was meant to last.
Well time comes swiftly and loss strikes fast.
So If I am asked,
I'll just forget it.
Pre verse:
Was there really a time I could help you,
I bet I was your one only fault.
This path that was taken was not for you,
So I'll just shut up and just walk.
Chorus
Bridge:
No matter how hard I tried,
no matter how many tears were cried,
No matter how much I just wan't to move on.
All the things that I did,
Man guilts a b****,
But theres something you just can't put behind you.
But I still don't know why!!!
Chorus x2
Verse 1
Chorus
Now, you asked for my opinions, and that is simply what they will be! Only MY opinions. 'Kay? *clears throat*
One of the key things in any lyric is rhythm. Each line needs to have a flowing beat along with a rhyme. To help make a lyric "hit harder" so to speak, is to keep a consistent pattern going. It helps make it more memorable. Since there isn't a melody connected to it, the words need to work that much harder. Which I like, because it means that the message of a song is actually good, and not just loud music.
Overall, this was a nice piece! Keep it up!
Most of my songs I right with a melody in mind.
I guess thats a good thing....
But sometimes I have to make sure that even if I would just straight read my lyrics (without the tune going through my head) that the message I was trying to convey came out without the music.
But when writing, its still good to know what type of music you want it to be in.
you should call it 'Can you still Remember?'
yes I'm going to name it that right now!!!